by Linda Aber

• Six-year old Derek argues with friends and insists on having things his way. He has difficulty with turn taking.
• Seven-year old Tina is bullied by peers at school.
• George, nine years old, is observed to be aggressive at home and school with his siblings and peers.
• Eight-year old Mark often plays alone in the schoolyard, rejected by his peers. He is seldom invited to birthday parties or children’s homes to play.
• Amy, a shy eleven -year old has difficulty making and keeping friends.
• Twelve-year old Tony is continually glued to his home computer, instead of engaging with peers. He is self isolative and becomes enraged when computer limits are set by his parents.

When parents observe their child experiencing difficulties in a given domain, their initial response is often to search diligently for effective resources that might assist him or her. If a child has difficulty in math, for example, his or her parents might hire a tutor.  But when a child displays social skill deficits, parents may be less aware of the numerous remedial resources available for their children.  Among such resources are social skills groups, which have the effect of empowering both children and their parents by fostering novel strategies for building social competence.

In order to understand the importance of social competence, we must first define the term “social skills”. According to Richard Lavoie, Associate Professor and renowned educational consultant in the field of AD/HD and Learning Disabilities, social skills are “a collection of isolated and discrete learned behaviors.  Social competence refers to the smooth sequential use of those skills in an effort to establish an ongoing social interaction.”

When reflecting upon our childhoods, the memories we often quickly recall are those around our cherished times spent with friends. Those magical days filled with fun and play, while interacting and exploring, were valued opportunities and precious treasures. For a child with learning disabilities , attention deficit disorder   or Asperger syndrome , however, those memories unfortunately may not be as pleasant.

This is due to the fact that many such children often find themselves isolated from the valued world of friendship. According to Lavoie, “their impulsive, immature and unpredictable behavior is often misunderstood and misinterpreted by peers and adults. Although they often receive assistance with academic problems, their lack of social competence is viewed as willful and negative.”

The long and short-term effects of social incompetence have devastating effects on the development of an individual with any of the above disorders. As social skill difficulties can occur throughout the life span, they may begin at a young age and persist throughout adolescence and into adulthood.

While most children learn “naturally” or “automatically” through observation, modeling, receiving, and interpreting feedback in the form of verbal and nonverbal communication from others, children with learning disabilities, attention deficit disorder and Asperger syndrome, may not have these natural abilities and often miss social cues and meanings. Some children may also experience difficulties with self expression, reading other’s faces and body language, waiting turns, receiving and giving directions, touching appropriately, problem solving, anger management, conflict resolution, expressing and dealing with feelings, making eye-contact, negotiating, asking permission, respecting boundaries, accepting  “no”, and cooperating. Needless to say, those who experience difficulties in their developing years are often perceived more negatively by their peers and are prone to being labeled “weird”. This in turn often makes them the victims of other’s bullying.

When a child exhibits social skill deficits, experiences difficulty with peers or is rejected, isolative or shy, a social skills intervention group is often a positive solution. Social skills groups provide children, adolescents and their parents an arena for acquiring and modeling appropriate pro-social skills. Moreover, they encourage cognitive restructuring, reframing and the adoption of new social behaviors.

In order to achieve optimal results, it is important to identify which types of skills are weak or lacking in children participants and to provide repeated opportunities to practice newly acquired skills. Targeted skills are often introduced in bite-size steps and are modeled and role-played with props, amongst peers. Video clips and social stories are also often incorporated to reinforce lessons. Sessions are usually playful and engaging, so children are open and responsive to acquiring the new skills. Group interaction also creates a cohesive atmosphere where children can learn trust and acceptance from their peers and develop new friendships.

Perhaps most crucial in helping participants to integrate and hone the many skills that they are taught in social skills groups, is their parents’ involvement.  In practicing and applying all skills and activities at home, parents not only generalize their children’s lessons beyond the confines of the group but also promote additional feelings of self-confidence and social competence. 

Building social competence is of tremendous importance for children with learning disabilities, AD/HD and Asperger syndrome, for they too deserve to benefit from the valued world of friendship and create treasured childhood memories.

AD/HD is a neurobiological/behavioral disorder that affects an estimated 3-7 percent of the school-age population. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV (DSM-IV), published by the American Psychiatric Association, describes three subtypes of AD/HD:

1)    Inattentive — can't seem to get focused or stay focused on a task or activity
2)    Hyperactive-impulsive — very active and often acts without thinking
3)    Combined — inattentive, impulsive, and too active

A Learning Disability (LD) is a neurobiological disorder in which a person's brain works or is structured differently. LD affects the way kids of average to above average intelligence receive, process, or express information and lasts throughout life. It impacts the ability to learn the basic skills of reading, writing, or math.

Asperger syndrome (AS) is a pervasive developmental disorder commonly referred to as a form of "high-functioning" autism. Individuals with Asperger's are considered to have normal to high intellectual capacity and an atypical social capacity. There are three main categories of difficulties:

1) Impairment in social interaction
2) Impairment in communication
3) Restricted and/or repetitive patterns of behavior, interests and activities.